“That complete and utter fucking bastard!”
Lily stifled her laughter, refilling her friend’s shot glass with more Firewhiskey. Having predicted that something like this was going to happen, she had warned James that Narcissa would be coming over for a girls night in. James, smart man that he was, had opted to stay with Sirius at his flat and watch football, as they both conveniently had the night off for once.
“He’s a…a Hufflepuff’s hoo-ha!”
That was the last straw though. Lily completely lost it, howling with laughter, barely remembering to put the bottle down as she laughed until she cried.
Narcissa ignored her and threw the drink to the back of her throat, relishing the burn and the corresponding smoke along with the heady rush of alcohol, before falling back onto the couch. Her eyes fluttered, then focused on Lily, as she waggled her finger at the other witch.
“Thank you.” She said. “I didn’t want to believe, but now I know. And all that…shite my family spouted about how I was the last hope to continue the family bloodline, and how it all fell to me, and Lucius was the perfect match, was utter and complete dragon shite. And now look who has the last laugh! Ha!”
“As much as I’m enjoying this,” Lily giggled. “I think it’s time to put the alcohol away for a bit. It was just to take the edge off.” She shook her head fondly, her voice sad. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this, Selina.”
“’s cuz I can’t. Have to be the perfect society princess, the ice queen. Prissy Cissy. If you touch her, you might get frost bit.” Narcissa sing songed. “Hands off in Slytherin House. They knew better. But Potter, he never could resist a challenge, could he?”
Lily froze. “What?”
The blonde rolled her head to look over at her. Her gaze was glossy, far away. “Purebloods always have summer gatherings, parties. Everyone who’s anyone is invited. And you know what happens when a bunch of teenagers get together…’s Sirius’s fault though.”
“Of course it is.” Lily muttered with a sigh. “What happened?”
“Seven minutes in heaven. He dared Potter n’ me.” Narcissa leaned close to the other woman, as if imparting a great secret. “Potter’s a really good kisser.”
“That he is. Don’t tell him though, he’s already got a big enough head.” Lily replied dryly, the absurd humor of the situation beginning to break through. She had been so focused on the future – her future, and Narcissa’s – that she hadn’t given any thought to the idea that Narcissa and James already had a past and connection. Could she really still go through with this crazy plan to have James sire Narcissa’s child?
She studied the blonde woman, now dozing lightly next to her, pale gold hair loose and falling all around her head like a waterfall. She was all sorts of shades of silver and gold, down to her creamy skin and the pale green silk sleep pants and shirt she had deigned to change into. It was why Lily called her Selina, even before she had learned that it was actually Narcissa’s middle name, for the Goddess of the Moon; from a distance remote, cold, but up close she radiated and reflected warmth and life. It had taken a few months for Lily to break through the icy façade, but she had been persistent, intrigued by seeing the ice queen at medical school, of all places. Like at Hogwarts, they had competed fiercely for top rankings, eventually bonding over mutual animosity towards the other arrogant male twits in their class who thought that having a cock automatically made them superior over women. Surprisingly similar in personality and outlook, they had gotten on well, and Lily now considered her to be like another sister.
Which meant that, personal history with James or not, she was still going to do her best to protect Narcissa and ensure her future. Even though it meant getting pregnant through Muggle means by Lily’s husband. Lily could be jealous over a teenage moment, or she could protect her family and take another subtle step in silently defying Voldemort’s rhetoric. Defiance didn’t always happen in the large confrontational moments, after all.
That conversation would have to wait until morning, it seemed though. Lily got up, easing her friend down to lie on the couch properly, and found a blanket to cover her. Brushing some hair off of her cheek, she lightly touched her lips to Narcissa’s forehead, before extinguishing the lights with a soft Nox.
The Slytherin witch woke the next morning to obnoxiously cheerful, male, loud, humming.
“James Alexander Potter! Stop with the bloody fucking noise, you absolute fucking flobberworm!” She snapped, one hand immediately going to her head. ”Fuck!”
“Such language.” James’s amused baritone voice sounded from behind her. “Whatever would your mother say?”
“You and Sirius are the ones who taught me those words!”
Although she was older than both boys by a few months, they had been close enough in age to often be lumped together at the family and social gatherings when they were younger, usually under the watchful eye of a house-elf. Narcissa suspected that the real reason that she was put in charge of the boys was that she at least had some method of control over them; future Gryffindors or not, they had no defense against crocodile tears or feminine charm, when she chose to turn it on.
They had been stuck in the children’s room at Grimmauld place one summer night while their parents conducted business or whatever the adults did all the time. James had bought a book entitled, ‘101 Creative Curses to Stun Your Friends (and Enemies)’, thinking it might actually contain some spells, but to eight year old Narcissa’s dismay, it had contained a list of swear words and phrases. James, of course, had dared her to read one of the phrases out loud, never believing that she would do it, and that had been the end of that. That had led to a contest of coming up with or combining the most creative and outrageous phrases, which she had ironically won with last night’s ‘Hufflepuff’s hoo-ha!’. She still had silly paper crown that they had made up for her, somewhere in her memory books.
“Yes, and the student has very nearly surpassed the teacher. Sirius would be so pleased.” He adroitly dodged as she swung her arm to swat at him. “Be nice, Selina, or else I won’t give you a Sober up potion.”
She opened her eyes enough to blearily glare at him. “Give it to me, or I’ll tell Lily about the time you were skinny dipping in my uncle’s pond, and you and Sirius had to run for it after – “
“Fine! Here.” He grumbled, handing her the cup. “You swore an oath not to tell anyone about that.”
“Slytherin.” She said sweetly, downing the liquid. “And we were nine. What did we know about oaths? Hey, this isn’t half bad. You didn’t brew it, did you?”
“Don’t be silly.” Lily snorted, joining the conversation and plopping down on the edge of the couch. “How are you feeling?”
Narcissa took stock, considering. “Fine. Better.” Lighter, she realized. Last night had been like the lancing of a wound, opening it to the light and air. Now maybe she could start healing, and looking towards the future.
James sat in the armchair across from them, his blue eyes serious. “Are things resolved, then?”
Lily looked at her silently. Narcissa nodded. “Yes.”
“Very well. Lil, you have been doing all of the research on this mad idea of yours. What exactly does it entail?”
“Muggles have advanced their technology to the point where they can help any woman increase their chances of getting pregnant – without actually having sex.” Lily sighed. “The details of it all are a bit too technical to explain without going into extensive detail, but essentially they have a way to take a male’s sperm and a female’s egg and combine the two outside of the body, and then once the process is started, so to speak, put the woman’s egg back.”
Narcissa mutely shook her head, her mind whirling. How could a person get pregnant, without having sex? What magic was this, that the Muggles of all people had discovered?
“It does not ensure pregnancy.”
“What?! Lily, if it doesn’t ensure that I will get pregnant, then what’s the point – “
“Muggles have not reached that point in their technology and experimentations,” Lily interrupted crisply. “However, we as mediwitches, and you specifically, since you know your body and magic better than anyone, I would presume, can use magic to increase the odds so that you are virtually guaranteed to get with child. It is how things are done normally. Our problem always lay in the fact that any sperm Lucius produces would be sterile, and thus useless. He’s shooting blanks.” She shot the other woman a hard look, forestalling that argument before it started. “Even were you able to convince him to donate, it’d be pointless.” She took a deep breath, let it out slowly. “The first step is to meet with the Muggle doctor…”
AN: Thank you to mamapotterhead2492 (AO3) for the use of ‘hufflepuff’s hoo-ha’. It still makes me giggle!