“So. Cousins, huh? Guess that’s why Sirius and Remus both called you the smartest witch of our generation. Although I don’t know how I feel about that anymore, now that I know you were channeling my mum!”
She snorted again, shoving him lightly away. “Does this mean that when I remind –“
“-you and Ron to do your homework, that you’ll actually listen?”
“I always listen to my favorite cousin.”
“I’m your only cousin.”
“More like older sister, come to think of it. Ooh! Does that mean I get to give the protective brother speech to Ron if and when he finally pulls his head out of his arse?”
Hermione scoffed, fighting to ignore her blush. Even though she was still uncertain about her feelings towards the redhead, it was nice to have outside confirmation that he was actually harboring a crush on her. “Look, maybe they’ve finally come to an agreement. They’ve stopped yelling.”
Harry hid his grin, turning obediently to the adults, who were reluctantly shaking hands.
“Very well. Let me go over the terms one more time so we’re all clear.” Mari said briskly. “I agree to permanently lease Number Four Privet Drive from Petunia Dursley from now until Harry James Potter’s twentieth birthday. As such, I will assume all magical, legal, and financial responsibilities pertaining to the aforementioned properties and minor in question, excepting only that Petunia Dursley will retain her name on the property. I will also transfer the equivalent of fifty thousand Gaellons into her account, twenty five immediately, and the remaining amount once visual proof has been sent and confirmed that she and her family are far, far away.
As a result, Petunia, her husband Vernon, and their son Dudley will vacate the premises forthwith, as well as the continent altogether.” She paused to look up pointedly. “I don’t care where you go, Petunia, just make it far away from Britain. Australia, perhaps. Or Antarctica. Somewhere on the other side of the world, where our paths will never cross again.”
“Yes, and good riddance to bad rubbish!” Vernon snapped. “Where do we sign?”
Remus showed them, and the teens watched as the Dursleys scrawled their signature in the indicated places.
“Let’s go collect Marge and get out of Dodge.” Vernon ordered.
“The money will be in your account before you reach the freeway.” Mari said faintly, stepping back.
Petunia nodded stiffly. She opened her mouth and shut it a few times, hesitating. “She’s alive, you know. Lily. Well, she’s not dead anyway.”
The magicals stared at her in shock.
“What?” Harry whispered.
“She had one of those magical portraits done, when she came to tell me that she went and got herself knocked up with you.” Petunia shrugged, her mouth twisted into a malicious smile. “Wanted to give it to us as a gift, so that we would have a way of communicating or some such rot like that. As if I would have allowed such unnaturalness in my house, much less kept a single portrait of her.” She met Mari’s gaze and smirked. “She’s locked up in the attic, along with all of your mother’s junk. Combination code is Lily’s birthday. Good riddance to bad rubbish, if you ask me. We’re well rid of the lot.” She pulled on her jacket, and stalked to the door, yanking it open. “Vernon. Dudley. Let’s go.”